24 and single. Maybe not the smartest thing to post about, but I’m choosing to be vulnerable here. Not only am I single, but I am a romantic, which is a dangerous combination.
I’m that person who dreams of Mr. Darcy coming to sweep her off her feet. I’ve watched the end of Season 2 of the Office over and over again for that moment when Jim finally kisses Pam. I’ll never EVER get sick of watching The Holiday and my favorite book is Redeeming Love. Favorite movie? Pride and Prejudice. Love stories and happily Ever Afters are just in my blood. It’s who I am and no matter how hard I may try to escape it, I can’t.
I know that God has someone for me. However, knowing that doesn’t make being single any easier.
If you’re single, you know what I’m talking about. You don’t like to talk about it. You cringe when your married friends ask “is there anyone new in your life??” with that eager gleam in their eye, but you complain about it non-stop to your single friends who understand exactly what you’re going through.
If you’re in a relationship, well, you were single at one time… I hope… so maybe you can think back to that time of solitude and appreciate what that feels like.
My old fashioned single friends and I tend to get frustrated at the guys our lives because they never seem to make a move. We think we’re doing something wrong, or not putting ourselves out there enough. But the thing is that we girls are normally thinking too much while the while the guy just isn’t thinking.
Now this post isn’t meant to put down my guy friends or say women are superior, because we’re not. I really just want to bring to light this inconclusive conversation that my single friends and I have over and over again.
We all have girlfriends who are gorgeous, intelligent women of God whom any guy would be incredibly lucky to snag. However, they’re single. Maybe they want to be single, but the majority of the girls I’m talking about do not.
I truly think there’s something about our generation that has made all of us overly cautious- or at least in my own friend circle. I don’t know…something to do with a recession perhaps?
That said, we all want to be prepared. We want to have it together before we begin a relationship.
Well here’s a SPOILER ALERT for ya: none of us are ever going to have it ALL together.
So in all my infinite relationship wisdom, here’s what I believe it boils down to:
Girls: We’re too impatient and we don’t understand how guys work. We ignore the fact that it’s in a man’s nature to pursue us and put that responsibility on ourselves. We expect too much too soon and we don’t allow them time to grow. Give your man more credit. If you’re having to do all the work and track down a man, I’m sorry but he’s not the one. The right one will come to you. Guys, am I right on this one? Keep me in check.
Guys: You don’t understand women. You doubt yourself, and you doubt whether or not we want to be pursued. If you like her, why aren’t you doing anything about it? Girls don’t want a guy who is timid. We want a guy confident enough to know what he wants and to be able to articulate that in a clear way. However, we also don’t want a man who “has it all together”. There has to be a balance! Girls, am I right?
Life is not about perfection. Life, from what I can gather, is about being willing to share yourself with others. Will you be rejected? Probably. But will you be a better person for trying? Yes.
God doesn’t want us to be miserable. If you WANT to be single, God won’t force you to be married. That’s just not his way of doing things. If you WANT to be married someday, odds are God has someone in mind for you.
But wherever you are, take a step back and realize that this is the life God has given you. Are you pursuing the relationships you already have and giving of yourself more than you ever have? Are you open to new relationships and to change? The more you give, the better chance you have at being in a happy healthy committed relationship for the rest of your life.
We can begin this challenge whenever, but I think our future selves will thank us if we start now.